Image: “Joy Was Her Name" 2015 Painting by Jessicka Addams, from her facebook page. The painting is a light purple background with a feminine face in the center, red lips, and bluish purple eyes with tears running down her face. Her hair is black and morphs into the faces of three black cats on the top of her head with long whiskers stretching out to the edges of the painting.
This is a story that is from my generation. These were groups that were big when I was in middle and high school and especially in early high school years, I was what some would call a "Mansonite." This eventually lead me like a gateway drug to groups like Skinny Puppy who remain the backbone of my industrial fanpersonhood today.
I was less familiar with Jack Off Jill for whatever reason, but had many friends that listened to them. I remember women-dominated groups being a rare thing at the time (and they still are.) What Jessicka discusses here- both involving the industry mistreatment of her needs and her relationship with a famous man in that industry- is all to common. I can't imagine what she is feeling in deciding to come out about this so bravely and publicly. I know intimately the type of guilt one can feel in not reporting someone- as if we are somehow responsible for their future victims' pain. Rape culture teaches us that survivors are always most responsible for rape and abuse, even of rapists' and abusers' future targets. This is never the case.
While I do not wish to silence any of Jessicka's feelings as feeling any way about all of this is valid, I do want to state clearly for the purpose of this post: Jessicka Addams is in no way responsible for the actions of Jeordie White no matter how long it took her to come out or if she chose to remain silent forever.
On October 20th, Addams posted an account of heinous emotional, physical, sexual, psychological, and other abuses she suffered at the hands of White on facebook. It is not easy to read. What she (other women, her pets, and others around them) went through was extreme and awful. White responded with some bullshit I am not even going to link because it is insulting. But, to give you a snippet, he says he does not condone "non-consensual sex." Sex is consensual, rape is what it becomes when it is non-consensual. According to Addams' post, there has been an outpouring of support as well as many other women sharing their stories with her about White being a violent, dangerous predator.
After the allegations, Marilyn Manson did fire White and claimed that he did not know about the abuse until now. This may or may not be true- sometimes abusers are good at hiding, other times an entire community is manipulated and responsible. Usually it is a little of both. People tend to turn the other cheek when their friends do something they don't like, people put their careers ahead of callouts (as can be seen in the beginning of Jessicka's account,) and often abusers are charismatic, friendly, well-liked people who save their worst behavior for those closest to them behind closed doors. As a result, people don't want to believe the truth about them.
Please remember the risk someone takes to come out about something like this. They open themselves to doubt, loss of career, public ridicule and shame, future attacks from the abuser, and other dangers. Jessicka did this against all of those odds because she wanted to do the right thing. Believe survivors. Protect survivors. I believe you, Jessicka. Thank you for sharing your Truth.